Girl let’s play

You know I’m gonna make your day
And you’ll let me cause I’m made that way
I know you’re gonna start the fight
And I’ll let you cause it’s only right

Girl let’s fight

I’m your role and your enemy
And when it ends
It’s only you and me

I wouldn’t have it any other way
Any other way
We were made this way

A child can’t be woken
No one sleeps more peacefully
Sleeps more peacefully
Teddy clutched

You sat and observed
Nightstand and moonlit breeze
I exhaled slowly
Smelled sweet like tulip trees

Affection for you more than a token
I stroke you ever so gently
Ever so gently
Softest touch

You made your way onto the bed
Steps so soft without a sound
I dreamt of love and life with you
My feet never touched the ground

Feelings between us go unspoken
This thing never takes roots
Never takes roots
Grows and such

You stole my breath
I’m an infant you kitty cat
I stole your heart
Without consent, no going back

A breath can’t be broken
Truth is, death doesn’t hurt
Death doesn’t hurt
Near as much

A maverick called Bo with a fierce hind kick
Wide eyed at the world, it’s what makes me tick
Learning at every step, it’s what makes me stronger
One hand pushed against the end, it won’t be much longer

Mother and Father were built to sacrifice
And offer better without thinking twice
Hands used to form a roof overhead
Same ones used at night for putting to bed

I slip through back alleyways
Connected by avenues
Walk closely to the wall
Out of the light, and out of view

When my heel hits the slate
It makes a clicking sound
That’s when I know I’m there
That’s when I know I’m found

I thought that if we split up
The hurt, it would follow me
It would let you alone
It would leave you be

It’s a tight following shadow
That’s always nipping at the heels
Makes it seem hard to escape
Just trust me on how this feels

I thought if I ran fast enough
The sting, maybe it would tire
But it just intensified
The blue flame of the fire

Babe you’re gonna find
What it is you’re looking for
You’ll be two steps closer
Taking two steps out my door

You think I’m somethin’ special
So much you had me thinkin’
But those thoughts all went away
Each time I was done drinkin’

Sometimes you must make choices
Opposite of what seems right
Answers aren’t always found
Other times they see the light

It’s not really giving up
When someone calls the game
But it’s a hard end to keep
Not having a place to put the blame

Go on, get going
Let it be, for me to deal
It’s been an up and down ride
But this time it is for real

You can see me slowly moving under your skin and through your vein… heading directly for your heart.

It’s not that I want to kill you, it’s just one of my attributes.

When I catch your eyes
It’s not the color or wide
They take hold of me
And tell me you’re on my side

When I watch you walk
It’s not the steps or how far
They always end at me
From wherever you are

When I hear your voice
It’s not the pitch or tone
I’m no match as it enters
And soothes me down to the bone

I like the feel of you
It’s not just the things
But what they do to me
And the truth how it rings

The clinking of bottles is all I hear, followed by the muffled sound of voices. The sound that the bottles make immediately takes me back to my childhood when my family would buy these tall and slender pop bottles in packs of six from the grocery store. The ones with the logos printed on them so thick that if you ran your finger across the front of the bottles you could actually feel the raised edge of the ink.

I would use my dirty little kid fingernails to try and scrape the big D off the Dr. Pepper. The little bubbles of fizz around the Sprite. I never gave it much of a fight.

I know it seems strange now, but back then when you were done drinking a pop you would put the empty back into the cardboard carrier and return them to the grocery store on your next visit. We were recycling before you actually had to recycle. Putting the cart before the horse. Before the horse got hoof and mouth disease and had to be turned into glue.

The earth will be one giant glue ball.

When you placed the empty back or when you were carrying the six packs, the bottles would tap each other producing a playful clinking sound. This is a very unique sound, a sound which has no sister or even cousin sound for that matter. It is unmistakable when heard.

It has always intrigued me how a sound or scent can bring a flood of memories back faster and that are more vivid than the sight of something can. Hearing and smell are always taking a back seat to sight. They are the red-headed step children of the Senses family.

I’m lying on my back.

I can feel a thin layer of moisture covering most of my body, but I feel it mostly on my eyelids. Maybe this is because the eyes are such a sensitive part of the body. Since I can feel it on my eyelids I know that my eyes are closed.

My hands are at my sides and just as I used to run my fingers across the ink of the pop bottle, I run them across the ground where I lay. The course bumps with loose grit settled in the nooks let me know I am lying on cement. That, and the fact that my tailbone, shoulder blades, and the back of my head are numb from trying their best to block out the discomfort.

Your remaining senses heighten when you take one away.

When I touch the ground with my eyes closed I can feel it much better than if they were open. The possible choices for what I am touching immediately narrows. I can feel it so well I can almost guess the color and type of cement. I say “Gray Portland” to myself in my head.

Shortly after I touch my fingertip to the cement I touch the tip of my tongue to the bottom edge of my top front teeth. The feeling is identical. Course bumps and loose grit.

Chipped teeth.

“White Portland” I joke to myself in my head, though no laughter will be following this thought.